Monday, September 17, 2012
September 17, 2012
Occasionally I'll receive a check in the mail entitled alimony/miscellaneous. What's the miscellaneous mean, I wonder? When I first got one I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Won't he know from seeing my name on the check? Does he think maybe he will forget in the future that we were married and wonder who received this cancelled check? Or is it yet another way to turn the knife?
Maybe the miscellaneous is for all the nights I cried when he didn't come home, or all the years I felt like a single parent because he was always at work. Or maybe it's for all the parent-teacher conferences I went to by myself, the sick visits to the doctor when they couldn't go to school and I couldn't go to work. Maybe its for all the anxiety I had when there was a snow day and school was cancelled and I had to figure out who would care for my children. He always thought I "worried" too much. But he just got into his car and went to work no matter what the issue. He could NEVER call in sick.
Thirty years of memories and joys and sorrows reduced to "miscellaneous."