Monday, September 24, 2012
September 24, 2012
One of the things you must do after a divorce is change your will. Unless of course you have had such an amicable divorce that you will not mind your ex spending your money on his new girlfriend or wife after you are dead. I recently rewrote my will and changed all my advanced directives.
The will part was a no brainer. I couldn't wait to do that. You know, in case I got hit by a bus or had a fatal heart attack. Everything to my kids with instructions that their father not even get a pencil from that money! But the advanced directives? That was really hard.
When the person who knows you the best, or you thought they did, is no longer around, who will be your advocate when your health declines? I didn't want to burden my kids with such a task but it had to be done.
We had a discussion one night at my favorite bar, Dempsey's. They have great food there as well as drinks. Anyway Josh, who is older said he would do whatever I asked as far as life support, etc. But I knew it would be hard for him to make that last decision."Isn't there anything else you could do for her?," I could just hear him asking the medical team. He would be online looking for miracle cures. You would be doing that, wouldn't you, Josh? Hilary is much more suited to make the difficult decisions. Not because she loves me any less but because she is a nurse. Sorry, Hil, that will be your burden in life! And like her mother she is very practical. But I did tell her, "Make SURE there is nothing else to be done. Don't just run in and pull the plug!"
As often as we all laugh and joke about the potential scenarios that may ensue in the future I know they will both honor my wishes. I just wish they didn't have to be the ones to make those decisions.