Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Hurricane Sandy

October 30, 2012

Home today waiting for the high winds and rain that are supposed to arrive later today. I have been frantically cooking and baking for the last two days. Why? I know it makes me feel better but what am I going to do with all this if I lose power? As soon as I stopped cooking last night I started to worry about things that might never happen. How will Hilary get home from work, how will I get to work, what will we do if we lose power. Things beyond my control. And most upsetting of all is the fact that I am the only one in charge now. No one to share this with or "talk me down." I was always the more emotional one in my marriage ( surprised, Margo? ) but now I have to be the responsible one also.

But I had my two Annies helping me through. I can hear them even now . Check your windows, get batteries, fill containers with water, get a portable radio, put the temperature down in your frig, fill your tank with gas, keep your cell phone charged. Forget the bread and milk. God forbid I should be without my IPhone!! Then I would be in a true panic mode.

I know this is just one more milestone to get through but it took me by surprise. I never thought I would react like this to a storm. But I guess its just another of the sucker punches of divorce. Just when you least expect it something throws you into a tailspin.

October 31, 2012

I actually did lose power late Monday night so I'm finishing this at Margo's house. A delicious sandwich, a hot shower ( with candles!) and a cup of mint tea to soothe the soul. Nothing like friends to get you through. I have them lined up for the rest of the week!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Wedding Shower

October 29, 2012

This weekend was the wedding shower of Margo's daughter, Lauren. She was the first born of the crowd. And she paid for that honor. All the bizarre notions about child rearing were tried on her and then my son Josh. As I've told poor Josh, you'll either have lots of material for a play or to share with your therapist! But in spite of all we inflicted on both of them they have turned out to be terrific kids. All the kids in our little circle are well adjusted. I guess we did something right.

It was a gorgeous day in spite of the impending storm. The sun came out, it was warm and we had the mimosa bar outside on the deck. It couldn't have been more perfect. It is so nice to be a witness to young love. The excitement, happiness and anticipation of life ahead with someone you love is breathtaking. I remember feeling like that so many years ago.

The food was delicious. And I drank in the afternoon, something I don't like to do because I get bitchy and mean. But guess what? I was happy and carefree. Wasn't I, Min? And that mood lasted well into the night. It was a perfect day. The sweetest girl I know is getting married to her "soul mate.' I still find that wonderful!

Friday, October 26, 2012

This Is Your Brain On Crafts

September 26, 2012

Margo recently sent me an article about crafting. The mental health benefits that crafting can bring. Margo, I'm NOT crafty. Don't want to be crafty, not good at it and don't enjoy it. In fact the very thought of knitting, painting, needlepoint or any other activity in that category makes my blood run cold.

Don't you remember when we took knitting together way back when? We were new brides back in the day. You talked me into going. We were supposed to make a vest. Instead of purling the back I knit or vice versa. The instructor told me to take it apart and I refused. She asked me not to return to the next class. I think you were also asked not to come back. That was my last foray into the world of crafting. (Except for those gorgeous Halloween costumes I slaved over!)

But my friend, you have come a long way from that day. I love the things you make. In fact, you can make things for me anytime you want. But I don't want to personally do any of them myself. Thank you for not asking me to join the prayer group, the bible study or the Republican Party. But PLEASE stop trying to get me to scrapbook, crotchet, embroider or do calligraphy. Rest assured I have enough to occupy my mind!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Cooking Class

October 25, 2012

This past Monday I attended my first cooking class at Adult Ed. It is called "The Passion of Italian Cooking." Passion is a good word for Italians. As I always try to explain to people, I'm not yelling, I'm Italian. When I grew up there was a lot of yelling and screaming. But I never doubted for a second that I was loved. At the end of our marriage I heard many times that HIS parents never fought. But they divorced. Maybe they should have had a fight or two.

Anyway many of the things the chef talked about were very reminiscent of my upbringing. The Italian grandmothers and moms teaching their kids how to cook the old world dishes. I never cooked with my mother. I was too busy having fun to be bothered. Jennie always said, "You'll miss me when I am gone." And I would make fun of her. But now I do miss her terribly. Fortunately before she died one of her caregivers copied many of her recipes and gave them to me. I had already conquered eggs and potatoes and chicken soup with her coaching me over the phone but now I can do many of her peasant recipes almost like she could.

The only things I can't get right are her meatballs and sauce. I have tried and tried and can't get them to taste like hers. So whenever I go out for Italian food I always order a side of meatballs no matter what I am having. I did learn how to make a quick marinara sauce Monday night so I have added a new, simple, quick recipe to my list. There really should be no reason for anyone to use jarred sauce. EVER!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Moving Day

October 24, 2012

This weekend I needed to move a desk from my basement to the first floor. I asked my son to come and help me since he took my other desk to his new apartment. He came early in the morning. I had already taken all the drawers out of the desk to make it lighter. "Can you pick it up on your side, Mom?" No, I didn't think I could. But I did pick it up somewhat and we got it to the stairway. Now was the tricky part. We needed to turn it on its side and get it up the stairs.

Easier said than done. Especially with only one strong man involved. We got it up the first step and then I realized I wouldn't be able to lift it all the way up on my side. I called for Hilary to help. She came down, took one look at the situation and said, "Mom, just buy a new one. The men will place it wherever you want!" A true Jewish/Italian American Princess. ( I hope more Italian than Jewish) She did come to help. But the desk slid down the stairs and we all screamed. I yelled, "Dave!" It was utter silence for a split second and then I said, " Okay, let's go."

We finally got the desk upstairs where I wanted it. I spent the afternoon going through the things in there. I threw away lots of paperwork. But there were many priceless mementos in there. Notes from the kids when they were little, pictures and cards I had sent to Dave for a few of our anniversaries. So I guess not the entire 30 years was a bust as he claimed. "You don't see our marriage like I do!!" No, I guess not. I didn't spend my free time screwing someone else. Its no wonder I don't share your viewpoint.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Mr. and Mrs. Redbird

October 23, 2012

One thing I was determined not to relinquish was my bird feeders. Although I was not the one to maintain them I love looking at the birds. My particular favorite is my cardinal couple. They are here all year long but in the winter with the snow in the background they are spectacular.

The male is of course the bright red of the couple. The female is a reddish brown so she is not so visible to predators. The male feeds the female during courtship and she makes the nest and of course has the babies. Just like humans. But unlike humans, cardinals mate for life. It makes me sort of happy to know that at least some birds can be faithful and trustworthy. The human race should take note.

Now if I can only figure out how to outwit the damn squirrels. I have moved the bird feeder three times, bought a squirrel baffle and new poles. But they STILL get to the feeders. This weekend I decided to put out food just for them and thought I had the problem solved. But I left a 25 lb bag of sunflower seeds in the garage with the door open and guess who nibbled through the bag and was in my garage cheerfully eating away? My nemesis, the squirrel! Oh well. Maybe I should just learn to live them.

Monday, October 22, 2012

New Neighbors

October 22, 2012

This weekend I actually talked to my new neighbors. They have been living across the street from me for almost a year but I have avoided them like the plague. Why? Last November, while I was in Columbia on a medical mission, my then husband met them first. They lived in Manhattan a few blocks from where we had our studio and they were thinking of buying this house as their retirement home. He told me all this on the phone even as he was planning to leave me. I was excited and thought we could all become friends. But you all know how that turned out.

So, I have been studiously avoiding them even though they have tried very hard to engage me in conversation. I didn't want to have to explain my "situation." It's still very hard for me to tell people without that little quaver in my voice. I never brought the "welcome to the neighborhood gift" and tried not to get my mail when they were out in the yard. But last week Chuck accepted a package for me and left it at my door with a note. So I decided it was time to "get over" my reticence. I went over and apologized for my lack of manners and explained that it had been a difficult year for me. But he already knew about my divorce and was very supportive. I was glad I had my sunglasses on because I know there were tears threatening to spill.

We exchanged phone numbers before I left. So all the angst I had in meeting them was only of my own making. And now I have new friends right across the street.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Everything is Relative

  October 19, 2012

Yesterday was my day off. Because I worked all weekend and went away overnight last week I am very behind in everything. My house is a mess and I have lots of things to take care of for my sister.

So I got up at 6:30. My daughter needed her car serviced so we drove to Wallingford. I HATE taking care of the cars. That was never my job. But it is now. I guess being with your "soul mate" leaves you little time for helping your kids. All you can manage is lunch every other month or so. But I digress. We did enjoy a great breakfast at Ricks on 5, so being the parent who stuck around does have rewards. I know more about my kids then I ever thought possible and they about me. ( Much to Hilary's dismay)

When I got home I cooked. Steamed artichokes and pasta with chick peas. I vacuumed and cleaned the bathrooms and did laundry. Then I went to the library, the gas station, UPS, Liuzzi's Market and the bank. After that I took my handicapped sister to the grocery store where we spent the requisite two hours going up and down the aisles, checking all the prices and looking through a million coupons. I unloaded bags and bags of groceries and dragged the wheelchair in and out of the car. And the ankle I sprained in June was killing me. ( No, I didn't get the cortisone shot and decided to wear sandals because it was warm.) And THEN, at 5PM we drove back to Wallingford to pick up the car. Really cut into my cocktail hour.

Anyway enough of the pity party. I am SO grateful to have the option of working part time to have a day off to take care of my errands. I am happy to have a job, have my kids close by and healthy, and have my sister living in her home again. Six months ago I felt like I would't survive this. Today I feel lucky.

Thursday, October 18, 2012


October 18, 2012

I Don't Want To Miss a Thing  by Aerosmith

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you
Is a moment of treasure

Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Laying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just want to stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
I feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

I heard this on the radio yesterday and it brought me back to 1998 and a movie birthday party we had for Josh. Armageddon had just come out with Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler. We took a bunch of teenage boys to the movies but I think I was the one who enjoyed it the most. It was so corny but I love big, loud action movies. And there is nothing better than watching that kind of movie in the theater. Big screen, total darkness, loud surround sound and popcorn! You could almost believe you are part of the story. Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis together don't add up to George but they're not bad to look at for a few hours. And Liv is just adorable. Hard to believe that Steve Tyler is her dad but he too has a sex appeal that is really unexplainable. He could sing that song to me anytime!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

In the Kitchen

October 17, 2012

One of my favorite cookbooks is one I recently bought. It is called In the Kitchen with A Good Appetite by Melissa Clark. She is a food writer for the New York Times and has written and collaborated on many cookbooks. Her recipes are practical but different and enticing.

When I cut back my work hours I was excited about trying her recipes for Dave and I. For a long time I could not look at her cookbook but last night I took it out and made her asparagus with anchovy bread crumbs and eggs. It is the perfect supper to make when getting home from work, tired and hungry. Simple, easy to prepare comfort food but with a twist.

Maybe I will try all her recipes like the Julia/Julie blog. Maybe I should forget the wine trail and just cook this fall. At any rate I would encourage anyone to try some of her recipes. Especially my Google+ acquaintance who is into corn pasta ( if you are still reading. ) You could get them online at the New York Times or maybe just Google her name. You would be surprised at what real food tastes like.

Financial Advice

October 16, 2012

My financial adviser, Charlie, tries really hard to help me understand my finacial situation. I have met with him many times. In fact I am going to see him again today. I was supposed to go over some of the brochures he sent me home with from our last meeting.

I recently read an article that stated women are not as astute as men at grasping finances. I find that a broad generalization but in my case it is probably true. While Charlie is talking to me about the caps, NASDAQ, S&P 500, securities etc. want to know what I am thinking about? His shirts. Yes, that's right. His shirts are so white and neatly pressed. And he wears cuff links. And the cuffs are monogrammed. Does he send them out or does his wife spend all day getting them into that pristine condition? Then I look up and realize he is asking me a question!!! WTF was he talking about? I usually gather my things at that point and tell him I have to go home and think about my options. When I get home I throw the pamphlets on my desk and promptly forget about looking them over. And even if I did I wouldn't understand them.

Maybe I should just fess up to him. I have no idea what my best options are. Just do whatever you think is best. But I hate to have to admit that. So when I go back I will try very hard to pay attention, Maybe I'll just ask the shirt questions right up front and get them out of the way. Then I'll be able to concentrate on the important stuff.

An update on cohabitation. I read an article in the Times this weekend. People who cohabit are no happier than married people. In fact less so. All committed relationships take lots of work. There's a surprise.

Monday, October 15, 2012

There's Frost on Your Pumpkins

October 15, 2012

Margo, if we hadn't gone away last week I would never have remembered that line. And it is priceless!

We had the first frost this past Friday. I had to go to work Saturday morning and it was SOOOO cold. I wanted gloves but didn't have time to look for them. I used the seat warmers in my car. I finally turned the heat on in the house this week but wasn't happy about it. I will really miss the summer. I have so much more energy. Now it will get dark early. Some days I feel like I leave for work in the dark and come home in the dark. (Sunset last night at 6:10 PM. )  Then I really feel like hunkering down under the covers.

But this winter I am going to try not to succumb to that outlook. I don't think it will be good for my mood. I am going to try to FORCE myself to go out in spite of the cold, dark nights. Or maybe, I can have people here in my warm cozy house. Then I don't have to worry about going out!

But I am still hoping for a few days of Indian Summer. I haven't put away all my sandals or taken my sweaters out of storage. There may still be some balmy days ahead.

Friday, October 12, 2012

The Berkshires

  October 11, 2012

I just got home from spending the night in the Berkshires with Margo, who has been my friend since seventh grade. We used to spend the weekend before Christmas at the Red Lion Inn for several years when the kids were little. Margo and Annemarie have continued that tradition but I did not. Dave thought it was too boring, why couldn't we go to a different place each year?, yada yada.

Margo was worried that I would be bored. That I only enjoy big cities with lots to do. And I do enjoy that. But I also enjoy the quiet and peaceful places. I enjoyed reminiscing about being young. About Claire saving me turkey on Thanksgiving because she knew I didn't have it at home. About the corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day which I would certainly never have had in my Italian house. About her hiding the aginettes. About being Daughter #3. About Bud worrying about me when Joe broke up with me right before the junior prom and how he called up to us, "Does she need a glass of water?" as I ran up the steps crying! I wish he were here now to offer me water and consolation.

Aside from the fact that I forgot my overnight bag at home and had to turn around a half hour into the ride to retrieve it and Margo booking the room without the bathroom ( which I clearly offered to pay extra for!) I had a great time. And I did look hot walking down the hall in the terrycloth Red Lion Inn robe to the shower.

We talked about old times and some of the newer times. I even got to visit two new libraries. It was just what I needed and at just the right time. The trees were not at peak but the company was superb. Missed you though Annemarie!

Thursday, October 11, 2012


October 10, 2012

On the day I got divorced the judge told me I was entitled to alimony until I remarried. He also said I could cohabit as long as I did not receive financial support from that person. Duh? ( As the kids say now) Why would I want to do THAT?

So I could answer to someone, wash their smelly socks and underwear, cook their meals and explain where I was going all the time? Ask their permission to go on a medical mission to Vietnam and then get told two years later that it was the "turning point" in our relationship. That was the point at which he "fell out of love" with me.

So if I never plan on getting married again (which I don't, in spite of what everyone thinks) why on earth would I want to cohabit? Isn't that just like being married without the license? Aren't you expected to be faithful, trustworthy and honest just like if you were married. Isn't someone waiting for you to have dinner with, spend free time with and vacation together? Are you allowed to seek out other partners or pretend you are single just because you are not legally wed? Why not just GET married? Because you are, for all intents and purposes, married. I suppose it makes it easier and cheaper to just walk away. I guess for the guy that is the perfect setup. But for the woman not so much. And as Jennie used to say to me all the time, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Carnegie Hall

October 10, 2012

I've never been to Carnegie Hall. Not as a performer which I could NEVER be. No talent in that department whatsoever. But not even as a member of the audience. WE had planned to go last year. But maybe it was only ME who planned to attend. Anyway needless to say I did not make it there last year.

I guess that will be one goal for this coming holiday season. Thanksgiving is weighing down on me. My favorite holiday, all askew this year. Should I make the traditional dinner? The one I have loved so much. The turkey, my special stuffing and cranberry sauce. My "to die for" mashed potatoes. Haven't quite found a vegetable that has made the "must have" list but I usually come up with something edible. ( the roasted brussel sprouts that I loved got the thumbs down from everyone else.) The Godiva cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. The pumpkin pie.

Or should I just forget the whole thing. I know it will be the hardest hurdle yet. Getting out the Christmas dishes will only remind me of how I was fooled last year into thinking everything would be okay. I realize now he was already planning his escape. I wonder if there is a performance at Carnegie Hall on Thanksgiving Day.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Outlaws

October 9, 2012

I was having dinner with a friend last week and we were talking about our ex in-laws. Or outlaws as the girls at work referred to them. I realized that none of them had reached out to my daughter in any way.

Steve, who apparently was happy to hear we were getting divorced because I was "the reason the kids weren't close," never bothered to call Hilary and invite her to the "family reunion" held in February. And Debbie, who never censored a word in all the time I knew her, ignored her as well. But Josh got calls from both uncles claiming to want to "get to know" him. Why?

I never expected any of them to contact me and was surprised to hear from Jay at all. But to ignore Hilary is inexcusable. At least to me. Is it too painful to deal with the women who are left behind or are only the men important?

So, Steve, I am out of the picture now. What's the excuse?

Monday, October 8, 2012

Cooking Therapy

October 8, 2012

I have found that cooking cheers me up. Hey Mom, I AM turning into you! Bet you never thought it would happen! I spent the weekend cooking up a storm. Sorry, Jill. No jewelry shopping.

Made a vat of chicken soup and froze some in anticipation of that scratchy throat I know will come some cold bitter night. Then lots of vegetarian meals for Hilary. String beans with potatoes and carrots in sauce, beans and macaroni and cream of tomato and basil soup. I used the last of the basil from my deck. There is just a little left for me to freeze and use in the winter. The smell of fresh basil in the middle of winter is awesome. If I don't stop cooking I will be using the bariatric toilets we had installed at work!

I also had the yard work done this weekend by a very nice young man. It made me both happy and sad. Glad to see everything looking neat but sad that it is being done by a stranger. Looking out the kitchen window and seeing someone I don't know in my yard. But next time he comes I WILL know him. He'll be Brian, the guy who takes care of my lawn. I even talked him into eating some of the food I made. See, I am getting just like Jennie.

The garden is gone too. I had Brian take it out. I really hate yard work. I hate digging in the dirt, sweating and getting accosted by bugs. Next year will just be the herb garden on my deck and maybe some flowers. The tomatoes at Hindinger's were better than any I could have grown and they are practically in my back yard.

Am I feeling better? Maybe, a little. Baby steps, as Bill Murray said in "What About Bob." One of the funniest movies ever!

Friday, October 5, 2012

My Melancholy Baby

October 5, 2012

It's been a long week. I worked extra this week and my house is a mess. Maybe that's why I feel so "blue." What a strange word to describe sadness. October never held any special meaning for me so I don't understand the why I'm feeling this way. But I'm just going to "go with it."

If I have one suggestion for anyone going through this it is to be good to yourself. Sleep late if you want, say no if you need to, put yourself first for a change. Instead of thinking about what everyone else needs, think about what you need.

I remember back in December when I had to take a leave from my job. I felt guilty sleeping until 7:30 because I always get up early. But I DID sleep late for weeks because I needed to take care of myself. And now I realize that no one else will be looking out for me. So I feel acutely aware of the need to be responsible for my well being. Not just physically ( Okay, Annie, I know.... I need to get that cortisone shot in my foot. I'm working up to that! ) but emotionally as well.

Sometimes it is hard to do that. But important. Put yourself first for a change.

Thursday, October 4, 2012


October 4, 2012

Yesterday I went into the chart room at work. I almost walked out without reading the quote someone had put up on the board. I don't usually pay attention to those Pollyanna sayings that people post but I'm glad I took the time to read this one.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

It got me thinking about a lot of things. I know I have survived (sort of) an emotional roller coaster these past few years. And I know I am facing more emotional upheaval. I am still pretty gullible. I know there will be those who will take advantage of that and of the fact that I usually take everyone at their word. I thought the tears would dry up at some point. But I guess as long as we put our feelings on the line we have the ability to get hurt. And I also realize, in hearing the stories of my patients, that my troubles and hurts are miniscule compared to some.

I don't want to lose the person that I have become. I know I could be more patient and thoughtful. It's a work in progress. I hope that in being the person I am someone, somewhere will be able to appreciate my good qualities and accept the bad ones. ( I could reference "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson but I won't!)

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Teenage Dreams

October 3, 2012

Katy Perry. How old is she, anyway? I love her music. I just heard Teenage Dreams for the first time yesterday. The lyrics are certainly not rocket science.

"Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever.

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't look back,
Don't ever look back"

Certainly this is every mans' dream. Teenage love. The trophy wife. The "hot young babe." Even men my age and older aspire to that. Is it the sex or the status? Will everyone think you are "such a stud?' Does it make you feel like more of a man? I suppose even women my age would like to be squired around by a young sexy guy. I know I would. Although chances of that are happening are not as great as the other way around. There are always women who are wowed by the money or the power of the older man no matter what the age or appearance.

So where does that leave me and the numerous friends I have who are vibrant, sexy and fun? The octogenarians, who would just as soon settle for the young babe themselves? I have always judged a man by the criteria of "Could I wake up next to him in the morning and count on an intelligent conversation?" ( Except for George. He wouldn't have to talk at all.) But truthfully it looks like I don't really have to worry about that. I guess I should plan on waking up to a really good book. Maybe someone will write a song called "Middle Aged Dreams!"

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

News Haven

October 2, 2012

News Haven is closing this month after spending 30 years on Chapel Street. It is one of the last news stands in the state. I used to love to go there and look at all the glossy magazines and foreign newspapers. Whenever we would go to New York or Boston we would stop there to get a magazine or recent newspaper to find out what was going on in town.

Apparently the internet has taken over much of the news. Young people don't read newspapers. They search the internet. Our own local paper has dwindled to a few pages. I'm afraid the same will happen to our libraries. I love to visit libraries in different towns and cities. Each one is a reflection of the neighborhoods they  inhabit. I love the sheer number of books in one place and the quiet. Oh, the quiet! I imagine what it would be like to spend the day in quiet instead of in the crazy, loud, high pressured surgical environment. Sometimes I think I would have liked to have been a librarian. But then I come to my senses. I would probably go stir crazy. And I really love the constant motion of my job.

But, there is nothing better in the winter than being on the sofa under a blanket and reading the Sunday papers. Especially during a snowstorm. I am always so happy when the paper guy delivers my papers during a storm. Especially if it's Sunday and I don't have to work. It's much better than curling up with the Ipad.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Anger Management

October 1, 2012

I know some of my writing can be interpreted as angry. Well, I AM angry. I would like to know of all the people whose  spouses have lied, cheated, betrayed and ripped their hearts out just how friendly you feel toward that person? And for those of you who think I am never "getting over" this, you are also right. I AM never getting over this. But I don't expect it to ruin the rest of my life. I deserve better than that. Because beside being angry I am also warm, funny, loyal, interesting and kind. ( I think I just described a dog)

 I'm glad for everyone who has met the loves of their lives, had a really amicable divorce and get along great with their ex spouses. I feel wonderful for you. I'm thrilled for all the people who can vacation, celebrate and party with their ex spouses. I can't and won't do that. I don't have to. My kids are grown and can make their own decisions about their father. There are no "good" divorces. We are all just doing what we need to survive.

And as for Friday's blog about the Train song.  It was a JOKE!!! The song is supposed to be funny.  Of course I would never wish him any harm.