We don't have to get divorced

August 8, 2012



Yes, that's what he said when he was leaving me the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Sunday morning was always special for me. I would get up before anyone else and start the coffee, read my email and throw in a load of laundry. Then I would get the newspapers. Dave would get up late ( he used to like to sleep late. That is, until he had to run to catch the Port Jeff ferry to be back before I returned from work.) He would get bagels because they "had to be fresh." That Sunday we were supposed to leave to spend a few days in Manhattan. He was acting skittish and I finally asked him what was wrong. " I don't love you enough. "

Wow. Nothing like that to bolster your self esteem. I was already feeling old and haggard. That was just the icing on the cake!" But we don't have to get divorced. We can still keep our bank account and I will continue to pay the bills from there." I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly. "So let me get this right," I asked." You will live somewhere else and sleep with someone else and I will stay here?" His response, " Well, I'm doing that now." Yes, thank-you for that.

I will admit I briefly considered that proposal. I didn't know how I could possible survive without his overseeing our financial affairs. Maybe if I didn't have a daughter to think about I would have even agreed. But she already saw me as weak and beaten and I didn't want to give her any more reason to continue with that sentiment. The next week I talked to a lawyer. What did Dave say to that? "I didn't think you would ask for alimony!!!"

Incredible, I know. What I want to know is, was the Kussi (Farsi) so desperate to have him that she would agree to such a setup. She would live with a married man and let him support her? But I guess she was doing that anyway. As Jennie would have said," She must have grown up in a barn."