August 2, 2012
I was reading through my past blogs. And just for the record I am no Mother Theresa. I'm not even remotely saint like. I take full responsibility for my part in whatever was wrong in my marriage. I can be an extremely sarcastic bitch. Just ask anyone who knows me well. And probably those who don't. But I would never be so deceitful as to cheat on my husband. ( George Clooney would not be cheating. It would be fulfilling a dream.) I am very direct and straightforward. If someone tells me they are going to the mall to Christmas shop I have no reason to think they have elaborate plans for their day. Plans that include hurting me. Deliberately.
So I hope that this experience will not turn me into a bitter woman. I still want to believe that people are capable of loving unconditionally. No matter what.
Margo's daughter got engaged last week and I shared in their happiness Sunday night. I want to believe that people can marry and spend the rest of their lives with each other. That they can respect their vows in good times and bad. For better or worse.
So even though my sarcasm and my cynicism may increase I want to keep a part of my naivete. I want to think that, deep down inside, people are basically good and kind and honest. I don't want to lose that part of myself.