Wednesday, July 18, 2012

"Your lifestyle won't change"

July 18, 2012

"Your lifestyle won't change," he said as he walked out the door. I got the house and the car and alimony. But my lifestyle has changed drastically.

Last week I got called into work at midnight. As I was driving home through the streets of New Haven at 3 AM I realized no one knew where I was. No one was concerned about my safety or waiting for me to come home. But my lifestyle hasn't changed.

My life revolved around him. I would try to go out with friends only on the nights he was on call. I never took a vacation without him. I asked him before planning any event with any of our friends. I hardly ever drove home at night by myself. Now that is the norm. Now I am in the car alone for every social event I attend. But my lifestyle hasn't changed.

For thirty years I slept curled up next to him. Now I go to bed alone and curl up with the pillows. I arrange them so I can be on my left side just like I have been for years.  But my lifestyle hasn't changed.

Whenever we had family events we were always a unit. All four of us, my mother and sister and now Jocelyn also, celebrated every holiday and special occasion together. The last several holidays found us not only without my mom and sister but also without my husband. But my lifestyle hasn't changed.

The kids never worried about me before. Now I know they are concerned for my well being and my future. I never wanted that for them. But my lifestyle hasn't changed

"You're getting everything," he said. Really?

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