July 11, 2012
Another difficult day. Today is my ex-husband's birthday. So hard to say, ex-husband. I can only suppose it will get easier with time, like all things.
Birthdays are very special days to me. When the kids were small I always made their bed on their birthday. It was the one chore I insisted they do before they left for school or camp ( couldn't stand an unmade bed ) but on their birthday I would do it for them. I would always cook their favorite dinner or let them pick their favorite restaurant and invariably we would have ice cream cake for dessert. We always sang Happy Birthday and had candles and wishes. I did the same for Dave.
This year is the first year I do not have a celebration planned for July 11th. I can remember last year at this time waiting by the phone for him to call or come home. I left the outside lights on for three nights hoping he would return. His presents were wrapped and waiting. And he did eventually return home. With a broken shoulder from "body surfing with the guys." So is she the guy or the girl? I still haven't figured that part out yet.
So, today was just like any other day. Hilary and I went out to lunch, saw a movie and tried another ice cream place. There will be no singing Happy Birthday. Josh and Jocelyn will not be here to join us for a special dinner and there will be no presents to open. I guess that will be part of my new memories. July 11 will be just another day of the week.