Late Shift

June 28, 2013



I'm going to work at 9:00 today. Great! Sleep a little later but still have time for breakfast and coffee in my own kitchen. And best of all reading the newspaper before going to work. I walk down the driveway but I don't SEE the newspapers. Maybe they are hidden right at the end of the driveway. But no. They are just not there. It is 7:15. The day before they were also not there but I was told they had until 7:00AM to deliver. Really? I thought the deadline was always 6AM. They are morning papers right?


So I call the Times and the Register. They promised to deliver a replacement paper. I actually spoke to a human being at the Register. He said they had new carriers to "improve efficiency!!" My previous carrier, a young lady, was very efficient. She delivered all through the snowstorms and would be pulling up to my driveway when I was leaving for work at 5:30 AM. What happened to her?


I'm sure I will come home tonight to four newspapers in the driveway even though I have a slot in my mailbox. AND one of them will be wet just like last night. I will be too tired to read them both tonight even though the Register has been getting smaller and smaller. Then I will put them, unread in the recycle bin on Sunday night.

I Love Wendy Davis

June 27, 2013



Yesterday the news was filled with reports about State Senator Wendy Davis from Texas and her filibuster. She was trying to prevent passage of a bill that would severely restrict abortions in the state of Texas.


She stood on her feet and talked for eleven hours about the bill, unable to lean against the table, drink water or use the bathroom. What kind of archaic rules are those? Only those good old boys from Texas could come up with something like that. But stood she did in her pink sneakers. I know I could probably talk for eleven hours but don't think I could handle the lack of bathroom breaks. That alone should endear her to every woman in America.



She was finally stopped just shy of the deadline on a technicality but the bill did not get passed because Democrats were able to delay the vote and the chanting crowd needed to be contained. People who were there in support of Ms. Davis. She is a role model for all young women. She was a single mom living in a trailer park when she graduated at the top of her class at Texas Christian University and went on to Harvard Law School. She is an outspoken member of the State Senate. So outspoken in fact the Republicans tried to have her area redistricted in order to include more Republicans at election time. But that was thrown out by federal judges.


She had filibustered in the past about a bill that would have left public schools 4 billion dollars short on funds. So she is an advocate for women and children. Not very popular subjects in Texas, it seems. Hooray for Wendy!! Keep up the fight. And really I just don't understand why men get to have a say in the abortion debate. As I have often heard , "If men could get pregnant abortion would be a sacrament."

Top Ten Things To Do For Myself This Year

June 24, 2013



Ok Nancy, thanks for the idea!


10. Maybe, maybe, maybe, I'll think about joining a dating service.

9. Sleep late on my days off. ( late for me is 7:30 )

8. Not feel guilty for "doing nothing" especially when I am home.

7. Read more.

6. Enjoy Manhattan again.

5. Try new restaurants.

4. Keep going to the gym.

3. Travel

2. Enjoy my summer rental in Martha's Vineyard where I will sit on the beach ALL day.

1. Plan an island vacation for November where again I will SIT ON THE BEACH.

Happy Anniversary Top Ten

June 22, 2013


Today is my new one year anniversary. I have to pass the "I got divorced this year" torch off to someone else. I will miss that excuse for things gone wrong. Here's my Top Ten Anniversary List.


                              Top Ten Things I Am Grateful For This Year


10. The taxpayers of the State of New York no longer have to spend their funds paying for an affair.

9. When I check my credit card bills I know what all the charges are for.

8. I don't have to waste another minute checking the Verizon phone numbers.

7. When I answer the phone I don't have to worry about hearing that my "husband" has decided not to
     come home that weekend.

6. When I climb into my comfortable bed at night I don't worry that other people have been in it.

5. I can go to Manhattan without feeling depressed that I probably won't be moving there.

4. I like my job, which is a good thing because I won't be retiring early as planned.

3. I love my friends. They have supported me through the worst of times.

2. Ditto for my kids.

1. When I come through the door after working all day I don't have to wonder where the man who is
     kissing me has had his mouth just hours before. Mostly because there IS no one kissing me. But I've
     finally come to realize that is better than the alternative.

Good Bye Tony

June 20, 2013



Tony Soprano, I will never forget you. You got me through the worst time of my life. I slept with you almost every night for months. You soothed my soul with your love of family. Only someone who watched the show could understand how a mobster could be so loved.


The Sunday dinners reminded me of my own upbringing. Sunday afternoon supper was sacred. The sauce, the macaroni, veal or chicken cutlets, meatballs and a big salad. Italian bread! You needed a REALLY good excuse to miss that day of the week. The loud fighting, throwing things and what I like to describe as passionale talking, which maybe only an Italian family could understand. How you could yell and scream at each other and then hug and kiss as if nothing happened? His insistence on respect for his family, twisted as it was, made me want to be a part of his orbit. Even as I watched the last episode I held out hope that he would return for another season.


So, Tony. Thank you for helping me to remember that family is everything. That I DID have a reason to get out of bed and get my act together. It certainly encouraged me to start cooking those old Italian dishes. And to hold out hope that I may someday meet my own "Tony."

Scarborough Beach

June 18, 2013



I just got back from a very mini vacation in Rhode Island. One night sleepover with Margo, Annemarie and Patti. It's funny how one night away at the beach can be so therapeutic. We stayed in a cheap motel right across from Scarborough Beach. A really gorgeous beach. The motel was in a perfect location and harkened back to the 1960's when I used to vacation with my uncle in Lake George and Wildwood. Not even an ice machine! The elderly owner would take ice trays out of his refrigerator for our drinks!


We had a blast! And not one person wanted me to play frisbee or body surf. We had a really good seafood dinner at George's Sunday night and I started my ice cream search after dinner at Aunt Carries. How disappointing! Tasteless and icy. Really icy. The first time I can remember throwing away an ice cream. The next day we went there again for lunch. Why? Equally as tasteless as the ice cream! Lobster roll, hot dog, and shrimp. Actually the shrimp looked like they came from a bag pre breaded. So that place is crossed off our list.


On the way home we hit some consignment stores. One really good one in Wakefield and then more ice cream. This time was much better. Brickley's in Wakefield. A typical New England Main Street. I had Orange Pineapple which was very unusual for me. It was delicious. Tasted like summer on a cone! I'm glad I tried something new. The start of a great summer. And I wore my Beach perfume the entire weekend! Even though we all agreed I could have saved $60.00 and bought a tube of Coppertone!

Happy Father's Day

June 16, 2013



Happy Father's Day to all the dads who put their children first, especially Sal Mentone and Bud Flaherty. They were men who never considered their own "happiness" but put the happiness and well being of their children first. Hard working men who spent every dime they made on their families. From Sal who would come in my room with twenty dollars and say, " Don't tell your mother," to Bud who called up the stairs, "Does she need a drink of water?" Men who would never say, much less think, "I feel like I gave my life for these kids."


I wish they were here so I could tell them in person how important they were to me. How they shaped my life and made me the person I am today. But I think they knew.


To all the men who are not spending their kids inheritance on a whore, oh sorry, did I say whore? I meant "soul mate." To all the men who realized their lives would change once they had children. To all the men who put their children first. To all the men who ARE men and not little boys. Happy Father's Day. And to all the whores, I mean "soul mates'" who contributed to breaking up families I hope it was worth the destruction and pain your personal "happiness" has cost. Hope you have a glorious day.


And to all of you who are going to say I am bitter. I totally agree. I AM bitter about how this has affected my children. I would have given anything to spare them this pain. Unfortunately I was the only parent who felt that way.

Beach Perfume

June 13, 2013



Tuesday I went to the Westfarms Mall with Hilary. I wanted to order a sofa from Pottery Barn. I was so sure of what I wanted. Finding a sofa has been a year in the making. But when I got there I really wanted the sectional that I had seen in Westport which I thought wouldn't fit. I was sure it was smaller than the behemoth I have now and Hilary agreed. So back to measuring the room all over again.


To get over my disappointment we went to Sephora. A must stop on any mall or Manhattan visit. One of my favorite places. All that makeup to try. And perfume. As soon as I got there I found this perfume called Beach by Bobbi Brown. I tried it immediately and then proceeded to smell my arm for the rest of the day. And to make Hilary smell it also in case I had it wrong. Yes, it smells just like the beach. The sun, the lotion, the hot sand, the salt water and just a little glistening of sweat. My favorite place to be in the summer.


I am still trying to exorcise the very painful sentence I heard in couples therapy. "Did you think I actually enjoyed going to the beach with you?" Wow, really low blow. He knew the beach was my favorite place. And I thought we had an agreement. In the winter I would go wherever. I hiked and tried cross country skiing. Spent all day in big cities (which I loved but was never very relaxing) but come a beach vacation all I really wanted to do was sit myself in a sand chair and read, do the crossword puzzle and take a quick dip in the water.  Maybe a little walk along the surf. I didn't want to play frisbee or "body surf." But I guess Anita Pedulla didn't mind doing any of that. I wonder if she still does.


Oh well. Last year I spent several days in the Cape with Margo, Fred and Annemarie. I still remember being so proud that I drove there alone and even stopped for breakfast on my way home. I'm going back this year and really looking forward to the beach, the lobster dinner and laughing with old friends. AND this year I'm renting a cottage in Martha's Vineyard with some friends. I still remember being stunned by his statement but I am trying not to let his rationalizations rule my life. I refuse to do that. He has moved on so easily and it is time for me to do so as well. Although nothing about this has been easy.


As for the sofa, it will fit. Now I'm trying to decide if I have enough courage to order it online.

Pussy Riot Documentary

March 12, 2013



Last night I saw an HBO documentary about the Russian punk band, Pussy Riot. I've talked about them in the past but this bears repeating. I had to DVR this because it was on too late for me. Yes 9 PM is too late for me to watch a show especially because it was mostly subtitled. Close your eyes for a second and you lose the whole point. Anyway this was very enlightening.


I tend to think of places like Russia as very repressive but not a lot about how the citizens view their daily lives. Because we enjoy so many freedoms (more about that later) I didn't give much thought to how others handle their lack of such privileges.


Pussy Riot is not a band I would ever enjoy. The "music" I heard was abrasive and discordant. But the three members who were arrested are intelligent and well spoken. They were passionate in their beliefs about their homeland. Two of them have small children at home. They were sentenced to two years in a penal colony for their "crime" of free expression. One of them recently was released on a technicality and she is continuing with the band's form of protest. I was amazed by the very thoughtful statements they gave at their trials.


I don't think I could ever have done what those girls are accomplishing. Even now, after hearing about the tapping of phones and phone records, I cannot not muster enough of a protest to make a difference. Oh Barack, I am so disappointed. I LOVE my freedoms and want to be protected from terrorists. I willingly succumb to pocketbook searches, metal detectors, and being patted down at the airport. But this is too much. Are we willing to give up so much to feel safe? And is it really necessary to do so?

Down With Peapod

June 10, 2013



Most people I know hate to go to the grocery store. I've always loved food shopping. I love to wander up and down the aisles looking at everything. I love to pick out just the right fruit and vegetables. I love to discover things I've never tried. Peapod? Why would I want other people to pick out my food? It would save time but I would not have the pleasure of finding that special ingredient or of impulse buying. Everyone needs a little impulse buy every now and then. Although it would keep me from purchasing potato chips. A struggle I have with myself every time I go into the store. "Just a small bag wouldn't hurt. You don't have to eat the whole bag at once," says the voice in my head. I leave with a bag of chips about fifty percent of the time.

Grocery shopping is quiet time for me. I used to try to go by myself when the kids were little. It was sometimes the only alone time I would have all week. For awhile I cried a lot in the grocery store but lately I've gone back to enjoying the experience. And not just the supermarkets but Hindingers is open again for the season. All that just picked produce. Last week I bought asparagus that had been harvested right before I got there. This summer Jocelyn and I are participating in the CSA at Hindingers. Every week we will get a crate of their harvest. I'm can't wait to try some new recipes.


So no Peapod for me. I want to get down and dirty with my food! After all what's the sense of having a gorgeous refrigerator if it is not filled with food.

Epic Go Live

June 6, 2013



This week was the start of our new computer documentation system at work.  After HOURS of training we finally got to work with the program in real time. All I can say is "It's about time!!!"


Stress levels were very high for everyone. Nurses don't take to change all that easily. I worked Saturday and Sunday so was able to get familiar with the chart while we were slow. But Monday morning we began a typical day. When we arrived at work there was a plethora of tech support. Staff from Epic in Wisconsin inundated us with their presence. And they were all so YOUNG. I was asking 22 year olds to help me navigate my charting. But finally after some glitches and frustrating moments I finally got the hang of it. And when all else failed old fashioned note writing is available. Only now it is legible and accessible to all.


Through out it all we had to remember to LOOK at our patients. The reason we were there! And for the most part I think we succeeded in putting them at ease. Lots of explanations and reassurances that they would be taken care of just like they were in the past. At least I hope we conveyed that sentiment. And I know in a few weeks this will be old hat to us. I am continually awed at the adaptability of nurses. We are able to modify the craziest of changes and STILL care for our patients. And to all the colleagues I work beside everyday and all the nurses who came to support us from other areas, you are the BEST. It is going so well because of you and your commitment to superior patient care.