Gorilla

September 30, 2013



This past Saturday I worked at an all day conference for nurses in Meriden. I just love getting up at the crack of dawn on my day off! And I know all the other board members did as well! But that's not the story.


I was running late and heading down to Dunkin Donuts to get the bagels for the conference. It was dark and I hadn't had my coffee yet. I had the radio on and a song called Gorilla was playing by Bruno Mars. Little Bruno. Of the plaintive love songs. (Or as Hilary calls him "the whiner") Little, being the operative word here. Well this song is another example of "It's not how big it is but how you use it." A saying only a man could have come up with.


I'm not a prude but I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I thought maybe I was not "getting" all the lyrics. He couldn't possibly be saying those things on the radio! So early in the morning! But when I got home that afternoon and looked them up it was just as I had thought.


Crude, vulgar and as far from romantic as you can get. Not my taste at all. Which is okay but I wonder, who IS attracted to that sort of song? I hope not anyone I know. Especially my baby girl.  Bruno, did you run that by your mother first? Oh wait, maybe it's a joke. Is it supposed to be funny?


I'm including the lyrics so you can make your own judgement.


                                                   Gorilla   by Bruno Mars

Ooh I got a body full of liquor with a cocaine kicker and I'm feeling like I'm thirty feet tall
So lay it down, lay it down
You got your legs up in the sky with the devil in your eyes
Let me hear you say you want it all
Say it now, say it now

Look what you’re doing, look what you done
But in this jungle you can't run
Cause what I got for you
I promise it’s a killer, you'll be banging on my chest
Bang bang, gorilla

Ooh, yeah

You and me baby, making love like gorillas
You and me baby, making love like gorillas

Yeah I got a fistful of your hair
But you don't look like you're scared
You're just smiling tell me, ‘daddy it's yours’
‘Cause you know how I like it you’s a dirty little lover
If the neighbors call the cops, call the sheriff, call the SWAT we don't stop, we keep rocking while they knocking on our door
And you're screaming ‘give it to me baby,
Give it to me motherfucker’

Ohhh look what you’re doing, look what you done
But in this jungle you can't run
‘Cause what I got for you
I promise it’s a killer, you'll be banging on my chest
Bang bang, gorilla

Ooh, yeah

You and me baby, making love like gorillas
You and me baby, making love like gorillas

I bet you never ever felt so good, so good
I got your body trembling like it should, it should
You'll never be the same baby once I'm done with you

Oh, you with me baby, making love like gorillas
You and me baby, we'll be fuckin' like gorillas
You and me baby, making love like gorillas

I Love New York

September 26, 2013



This is a little late in the current events timeline. But I had to mention it. Another reason to love New York. Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer were defeated in their respective elections this month. Oh, how proud I am of New Yorkers.


Weiner only garnered 5 percent of the vote for the mayoral Democratic candidate. Here is a man who even after he is caught sending pictures of hie weiner on social media, whose intelligent wife stands by him, and who is now a FATHER, can't resist continuing his deviant and humiliating behavior. Why run for public office and continue to behave like an ass? Why put your wife and now your child through such scrutiny again? Clearly Mr. Weiner is a sad, selfish individual.


And Eliot. My personal favorite. He were defeated by Scott Stringer, a journeyman politician. Spitzer outspent him two to one. And it was noted that his wife did not stand by her man. At least she is using her brain and her education. Maybe morals ARE beginning to make a come back. Or maybe it's common sense.


Oh, but South Carolina! Congratulations on electing Mark Sanford. A man who lied to you and has recently taken his "fiance" on a trip sponsored by the state. New York is looking better and better.

A Mouse In The House

September 23, 2013



What a beautiful weekend. Some overnight rain but mostly cool and sunny. I stayed home all weekend! What a gift. Getting ready for fall, decorating, cleaning and catching up. I loved it! But it was marred by one thing. A mouse.



A dead mouse in the basement. Killed by Hazel. A teeny, tiny thing. But a mouse none the less. I went downstairs to get something and I saw it at the bottom of the stairs. "Hilary come here," I yelled. She came to the top of the stairs but refused to go any further. "What do you want ME to do?" she asked. Well of course, I wanted her to get it out of there! But she refused. She did stand at the top of the stairs while I went down to make sure the teeny tiny mouse would not attack me. And then she suggested I call Josh. What a great idea!!! Could I possibly guilt him into coming over to dispose of this small creature?


"Are you kidding me?" was his response. In very well enunciated terms. Repeated twice in case I didn't hear it the first time. "No, I'm NOT kidding!" But I knew it was a futile request. I briefly considered paying someone to come over but by then I knew I was being ridiculous. So I got a shovel and scooped up the mouse and got rid of it in the yard.


But you know there is never just ONE mouse. I found another one soon after. That one is still down there until I decide to pick it up or Josh comes over. Which ever comes first. At least Hazel is earning her keep!

Farewell to Summer

August 19, 2013



Yesterday morning when I woke up it was 61 degrees in my room! Of course I still had all the windows open and I was FREEZING! Even the birds were quieter. Hilary very calming informed me of the temperature when she came downstairs in her fuzzy slippers and fleece bathrobe. But it isn't time to turn the heat on yet. That shouldn't happen until at least October 1st. Where is Indian Summer?  I'm not ready to put away my sandals or my summer wardrobe.


This morning I was enjoying the last of my lavender marmalade. The one I bought in Harwich when I was on vacation. And I have to admit I've been wearing the Martha's Vineyard fleece jacket when I leave for work. So I guess I have to get out my sweaters and fall clothes. It is refreshing to wake up to crisp fall temperatures but 61 is a little too cold for me. Let's have a few more warm days. Days of sleeping with the windows open and wearing short sleeve shirts and flip flops. And next summer maybe I should buy two marmalades.

Heart Like A Wheel

September 16, 2013



Long before I wanted to be Stevie Nicks I fell in love with Linda Ronstadt's music. Her voice and her heart shaped face defined music for a generation of baby boomers. I listened to her constantly. "It's So Easy," "Faithless Love," "Tumbling Dice," and my favorites "Blue Bayou" and "Crazy." Can't you just hear her sweet voice?


I saw her on Broadway in "Pirates of Penzance." Gilbert and Sullivan is not really my thing but I was so excited to see HER. I still remember the felling of awe I had when she came out on stage.


I saw Linda on TV recently. She can't sing anymore because she has Parkinson's Disease. A cruel ending to such a beautiful talent. As I've said many times, "life is just not fair." She very eloquently spoke about her condition and seems accepting of it but it is sad none the less. Sad for her fans as well as for her. She has written a book,"Simple Dreams" about her career and is going on a promotion tour. Now that is something I wish I could see.


So again we are reminded that we should make the most of every day. The laundry and the housework can wait. They will be there when we return from living our lives.





"Crazy"

I'm crazy
Crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy
Crazy for feeling blue
I know you'd love me as long as you wanted
Then someday leave me for somebody new

Worry
Why should I let myself worry
Wondering
What in the world did I do

I'm crazy
For thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for crying
And crazy for trying
And I'm crazy for loving you

Worry
Why do I let myself worry
Wondering
What in the world did I do

I'm crazy
For thinking that my love could hold you
I'm crazy for trying
And crazy for crying
And I'm crazy for loving you

Push Present

September 11, 2013



Just when you think you've heard everything something totally absurd comes along. I was driving to work a few weeks ago and listening to the radio. They have a segment called Couples Court. A husband or wife calls in with a dispute and listeners vote on whose is right. And I'M divorced? Anyway this particular segment involved the wife complaining that she did not receive the "push present" she had requested.


So, I know some of you are thinking, as I was, this can't be what it sounds like. But sorry to say it is. It's a present the husband gives the wife for having a baby. So if you don't push is the deal off or do you get a bigger present because you actually had surgery? It opens a whole new area for Hallmark. Are there special push cards? Do the presents escalate with each child? Do you get a present for sacrificing your body? Something extra if you breast feed? Can there be future presents involved? Maybe a little bling to cheer you up if you get hemorrhoids or bladder prolapse? What do varicose veins get you? I could just go on and on.


I remember getting roses when I had Josh. Just a dozen, nothing extravagant. And with Hilary I didn't even get a ride home. No, a limo did not come for me. My sister came to pick me up on her lunch hour. Boy, was I gypped!!! The way I see it I'm owed two presents. Maybe the diamond engagement ring I never had and the Lexus SUV I thought was so cute.

Hummingbirds and Butterflies

September 7, 2013



My vacation is really over today. It's Saturday and I have to work. All day. Ten long hours. I was really getting used to being at home. Getting up late, going to the gym in the morning, doing errands, going out to dinner, cleaning my house and catching up on all the little stuff at a leisurely pace. It was wonderful and relaxing. Of course as soon as I got home that sense of sadness started to creep in again.


Where was Monica to get my fruit in the morning and Alyson to plan my day? All the friends in and out to make me laugh and remind me of how lucky I am in their friendship. Oh no. I couldn't get down again like I was before we left for the Vineyard.


So I had a good talk with myself. Yes, I talk to myself a lot. Monica can attest to that as we had the two upstairs bedrooms and she would hear me having conversations with inanimate objects. I told her not to pay attention to me. I was just thinking things through out loud.


That's when I saw the hummingbird in my yard. We had always tried to get them to come to our feeder and they never did. This year I found the old feeder and was about to throw it out but decided to give it one last try. I made simple syrup and hung it off the deck. And Sunday as I was unpacking I looked out the window and there it was. A delicate beautiful hummingbird. I wanted to get a picture of it but was afraid to move. And just as quickly it was gone. I've seen it lots of times this past week and yesterday as I was filling all the feeders along came a gorgeous dark blue butterfly. So fleeting and elusive. Just like life. One minute and your whole life can change.


So since I am healthy and still semi coherent I am going to try to enjoy every minute of my life. I know that is a lofty goal but a worthwhile one. And along the way I will try to remember that everything is not always what it seems. People have burdens that we may never imagine.

Top Ten Vacation Quotes

September 3, 2013


Harwich, MA

10. "I want you to meet Barry. He owns his own business."


9.  "My wife, my wife, my wife...."


8. "Crows mate for life."


7. "Let's play Yahtzee."


6. "Faux Gigi."



Edgartown, MA


5. "I think we're moving!"


4. "What's the plan, Julie?"


3. "Where did the meat for this hamburger come from?"


2. "I have a suggestion. Do you want to hear it?"


1. "We're on island."