37 Degrees

November 8, 2013



"37 degrees this morning. Watching that snowstorm for next week." That's what I woke up to this morning. No blue sky, sleeping with the patio door open with the sound of the waves in the background. No white, sugary sand or the turquoise waters of Turks and Caicos. No breakfast by the ocean. No rum punch on the sand. The whole long day spent on the beach. Reading, doing the crossword, napping and 1PM happy hours! Being caressed by the warm, clear Caribbean water. Having to be persuaded to leave after the sunset to get ready for dinner. So decadent. I'm wondering how long I could be happy doing that? But not to worry.


I'm home now. Going to unpack, do laundry and get ready to return to work next week. Recharged. Ready for the cold weather. Preparing for the holidays, which I hope will be easier to get through than last year. And of course, planning my next vacation.

Top Ten Vacation Quotes

September 3, 2013


Harwich, MA

10. "I want you to meet Barry. He owns his own business."


9.  "My wife, my wife, my wife...."


8. "Crows mate for life."


7. "Let's play Yahtzee."


6. "Faux Gigi."



Edgartown, MA


5. "I think we're moving!"


4. "What's the plan, Julie?"


3. "Where did the meat for this hamburger come from?"


2. "I have a suggestion. Do you want to hear it?"


1. "We're on island."

Memories

November 14, 2012



I've been slowly doing over every room in the house. Not big major changes but little small ones to make them all my own. My bedroom is completely redone (except for the mattress, can't really bear to part with the Bob-O-Pedic), new curtains in the kitchen ( totally different from what I had before) new fireplace screen and even new curtains in Hilary's room. Now I'm concentrating on Josh's bedroom. Turning it into a guest/sewing room. I've taken all the books out of his bookshelf to store for him. He refuses to let me throw any of them out or give them away. But some of the books I can't bear to put in the basement.

The Polar Express, my favorite Christmas book. I wonder which one of us liked it the most. I hung a framed poster of the cover in his room where it still is today. I remember when we went to New Hampshire to ride their rendition of the polar express. It was magical even to me. Or maybe I should say especially to me. I wanted to go again this year but don't have anyone young enough to go with. Bill Peets' books that I read to him all the time. And all the Dr. Seuss stories. Those may have to remain in that room as well. Maybe whoever the guest is that stays in that room will appreciate those stories as much as I do.

It seems everything I do is fraught with memories of the past. My memories, that I am trying really hard to preserve. Memories that are tainted with incredibly painful revelations that are only just becoming apparent to me. Looking at pictures from our family vacations and thinking, was he cheating on me then? Comparing me to someone else? Was I settling for sloppy seconds when this picture was taken? All of us smiling at the Grand Canyon, Santa Monica Pier, San Francisco, Yellowstone, Rome and all the countless other trips we took together.

Not helpful for my mental health or self esteem but hard to escape. I'm waiting for time to heal those wounds and help me to accept that I can only be responsible for my own feelings and actions. And the time to make new and possibly better memories.