Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Fidelity. Unnatural?

December 4, 2012

Last week one of the physicians I work with told me that fidelity was "unnatural." His words, not mine. Wow, I wish I knew that 35 years ago, when I was young and my body parts weren't trying to defy gravity. If I had known it was "unnatural" to be faithful my life may have taken a completely different track.

I would have to say that being faithful to one person is hard but not impossible. At least I would like to think that. I know that it was hard for me but I managed to not have an affair (or two) during my marriage as tempting as it would have been. But I could never bring myself to follow through. I knew I would not be able to face my husband or live with myself. And in the end, when we are all alone, what is left but self-respect.

It was also implied that I was anti men. Not true! I LOVE men. They are essential for the continuation of the species(at this point in time anyway.) It is wonderful to have them around to take out the garbage, change the kitty litter and put gas in the car. But all kidding aside, I loved being part of a "couple." I loved having an intact family. I would like to think that there are many men who are capable of being faithful to one woman. But fidelity alone is not enough. Love, loyalty and respect are also important. But maybe I set the bar too high.

So...is it unnatural to expect fidelity in a relationship? Equally so for women as for men? Please let me in on the latest thinking. I would like to be prepared for my next relationship.


  1. Chauvinism disguised as evolutionary psychology

    1. In spite of the fact that I may be a little biased you ARE one of the smartest people I know. Certainly the smartest Graboff.

  2. Hmmmmm, How many guesses would you give me if I was to try and play "Name That Doctor"???? AND... to imply that you are "anti men" is absurd! Refusing to compromise your standards on what is acceptable/desirable in a partner should be considered a strength.