Hurricane Sandy

October 30, 2012



Home today waiting for the high winds and rain that are supposed to arrive later today. I have been frantically cooking and baking for the last two days. Why? I know it makes me feel better but what am I going to do with all this if I lose power? As soon as I stopped cooking last night I started to worry about things that might never happen. How will Hilary get home from work, how will I get to work, what will we do if we lose power. Things beyond my control. And most upsetting of all is the fact that I am the only one in charge now. No one to share this with or "talk me down." I was always the more emotional one in my marriage ( surprised, Margo? ) but now I have to be the responsible one also.


But I had my two Annies helping me through. I can hear them even now . Check your windows, get batteries, fill containers with water, get a portable radio, put the temperature down in your frig, fill your tank with gas, keep your cell phone charged. Forget the bread and milk. God forbid I should be without my IPhone!! Then I would be in a true panic mode.


I know this is just one more milestone to get through but it took me by surprise. I never thought I would react like this to a storm. But I guess its just another of the sucker punches of divorce. Just when you least expect it something throws you into a tailspin.

October 31, 2012


I actually did lose power late Monday night so I'm finishing this at Margo's house. A delicious sandwich, a hot shower ( with candles!) and a cup of mint tea to soothe the soul. Nothing like friends to get you through. I have them lined up for the rest of the week!

Wedding Shower

October 29, 2012



This weekend was the wedding shower of Margo's daughter, Lauren. She was the first born of the crowd. And she paid for that honor. All the bizarre notions about child rearing were tried on her and then my son Josh. As I've told poor Josh, you'll either have lots of material for a play or to share with your therapist! But in spite of all we inflicted on both of them they have turned out to be terrific kids. All the kids in our little circle are well adjusted. I guess we did something right.

It was a gorgeous day in spite of the impending storm. The sun came out, it was warm and we had the mimosa bar outside on the deck. It couldn't have been more perfect. It is so nice to be a witness to young love. The excitement, happiness and anticipation of life ahead with someone you love is breathtaking. I remember feeling like that so many years ago.

The food was delicious. And I drank in the afternoon, something I don't like to do because I get bitchy and mean. But guess what? I was happy and carefree. Wasn't I, Min? And that mood lasted well into the night. It was a perfect day. The sweetest girl I know is getting married to her "soul mate.' I still find that wonderful!

This Is Your Brain On Crafts

September 26, 2012



Margo recently sent me an article about crafting. The mental health benefits that crafting can bring. Margo, I'm NOT crafty. Don't want to be crafty, not good at it and don't enjoy it. In fact the very thought of knitting, painting, needlepoint or any other activity in that category makes my blood run cold.

Don't you remember when we took knitting together way back when? We were new brides back in the day. You talked me into going. We were supposed to make a vest. Instead of purling the back I knit or vice versa. The instructor told me to take it apart and I refused. She asked me not to return to the next class. I think you were also asked not to come back. That was my last foray into the world of crafting. (Except for those gorgeous Halloween costumes I slaved over!)

But my friend, you have come a long way from that day. I love the things you make. In fact, you can make things for me anytime you want. But I don't want to personally do any of them myself. Thank you for not asking me to join the prayer group, the bible study or the Republican Party. But PLEASE stop trying to get me to scrapbook, crotchet, embroider or do calligraphy. Rest assured I have enough to occupy my mind!

Cooking Class

October 25, 2012



This past Monday I attended my first cooking class at Adult Ed. It is called "The Passion of Italian Cooking." Passion is a good word for Italians. As I always try to explain to people, I'm not yelling, I'm Italian. When I grew up there was a lot of yelling and screaming. But I never doubted for a second that I was loved. At the end of our marriage I heard many times that HIS parents never fought. But they divorced. Maybe they should have had a fight or two.

Anyway many of the things the chef talked about were very reminiscent of my upbringing. The Italian grandmothers and moms teaching their kids how to cook the old world dishes. I never cooked with my mother. I was too busy having fun to be bothered. Jennie always said, "You'll miss me when I am gone." And I would make fun of her. But now I do miss her terribly. Fortunately before she died one of her caregivers copied many of her recipes and gave them to me. I had already conquered eggs and potatoes and chicken soup with her coaching me over the phone but now I can do many of her peasant recipes almost like she could.

The only things I can't get right are her meatballs and sauce. I have tried and tried and can't get them to taste like hers. So whenever I go out for Italian food I always order a side of meatballs no matter what I am having. I did learn how to make a quick marinara sauce Monday night so I have added a new, simple, quick recipe to my list. There really should be no reason for anyone to use jarred sauce. EVER!

Moving Day

October 24, 2012



This weekend I needed to move a desk from my basement to the first floor. I asked my son to come and help me since he took my other desk to his new apartment. He came early in the morning. I had already taken all the drawers out of the desk to make it lighter. "Can you pick it up on your side, Mom?" No, I didn't think I could. But I did pick it up somewhat and we got it to the stairway. Now was the tricky part. We needed to turn it on its side and get it up the stairs.

Easier said than done. Especially with only one strong man involved. We got it up the first step and then I realized I wouldn't be able to lift it all the way up on my side. I called for Hilary to help. She came down, took one look at the situation and said, "Mom, just buy a new one. The men will place it wherever you want!" A true Jewish/Italian American Princess. ( I hope more Italian than Jewish) She did come to help. But the desk slid down the stairs and we all screamed. I yelled, "Dave!" It was utter silence for a split second and then I said, " Okay, let's go."

We finally got the desk upstairs where I wanted it. I spent the afternoon going through the things in there. I threw away lots of paperwork. But there were many priceless mementos in there. Notes from the kids when they were little, pictures and cards I had sent to Dave for a few of our anniversaries. So I guess not the entire 30 years was a bust as he claimed. "You don't see our marriage like I do!!" No, I guess not. I didn't spend my free time screwing someone else. Its no wonder I don't share your viewpoint.

Mr. and Mrs. Redbird

October 23, 2012



One thing I was determined not to relinquish was my bird feeders. Although I was not the one to maintain them I love looking at the birds. My particular favorite is my cardinal couple. They are here all year long but in the winter with the snow in the background they are spectacular.

The male is of course the bright red of the couple. The female is a reddish brown so she is not so visible to predators. The male feeds the female during courtship and she makes the nest and of course has the babies. Just like humans. But unlike humans, cardinals mate for life. It makes me sort of happy to know that at least some birds can be faithful and trustworthy. The human race should take note.

Now if I can only figure out how to outwit the damn squirrels. I have moved the bird feeder three times, bought a squirrel baffle and new poles. But they STILL get to the feeders. This weekend I decided to put out food just for them and thought I had the problem solved. But I left a 25 lb bag of sunflower seeds in the garage with the door open and guess who nibbled through the bag and was in my garage cheerfully eating away? My nemesis, the squirrel! Oh well. Maybe I should just learn to live them.

New Neighbors

October 22, 2012



This weekend I actually talked to my new neighbors. They have been living across the street from me for almost a year but I have avoided them like the plague. Why? Last November, while I was in Columbia on a medical mission, my then husband met them first. They lived in Manhattan a few blocks from where we had our studio and they were thinking of buying this house as their retirement home. He told me all this on the phone even as he was planning to leave me. I was excited and thought we could all become friends. But you all know how that turned out.

So, I have been studiously avoiding them even though they have tried very hard to engage me in conversation. I didn't want to have to explain my "situation." It's still very hard for me to tell people without that little quaver in my voice. I never brought the "welcome to the neighborhood gift" and tried not to get my mail when they were out in the yard. But last week Chuck accepted a package for me and left it at my door with a note. So I decided it was time to "get over" my reticence. I went over and apologized for my lack of manners and explained that it had been a difficult year for me. But he already knew about my divorce and was very supportive. I was glad I had my sunglasses on because I know there were tears threatening to spill.

We exchanged phone numbers before I left. So all the angst I had in meeting them was only of my own making. And now I have new friends right across the street.