Gorilla

September 30, 2013



This past Saturday I worked at an all day conference for nurses in Meriden. I just love getting up at the crack of dawn on my day off! And I know all the other board members did as well! But that's not the story.


I was running late and heading down to Dunkin Donuts to get the bagels for the conference. It was dark and I hadn't had my coffee yet. I had the radio on and a song called Gorilla was playing by Bruno Mars. Little Bruno. Of the plaintive love songs. (Or as Hilary calls him "the whiner") Little, being the operative word here. Well this song is another example of "It's not how big it is but how you use it." A saying only a man could have come up with.


I'm not a prude but I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I thought maybe I was not "getting" all the lyrics. He couldn't possibly be saying those things on the radio! So early in the morning! But when I got home that afternoon and looked them up it was just as I had thought.


Crude, vulgar and as far from romantic as you can get. Not my taste at all. Which is okay but I wonder, who IS attracted to that sort of song? I hope not anyone I know. Especially my baby girl.  Bruno, did you run that by your mother first? Oh wait, maybe it's a joke. Is it supposed to be funny?


I'm including the lyrics so you can make your own judgement.


                                                   Gorilla   by Bruno Mars

Ooh I got a body full of liquor with a cocaine kicker and I'm feeling like I'm thirty feet tall
So lay it down, lay it down
You got your legs up in the sky with the devil in your eyes
Let me hear you say you want it all
Say it now, say it now

Look what you’re doing, look what you done
But in this jungle you can't run
Cause what I got for you
I promise it’s a killer, you'll be banging on my chest
Bang bang, gorilla

Ooh, yeah

You and me baby, making love like gorillas
You and me baby, making love like gorillas

Yeah I got a fistful of your hair
But you don't look like you're scared
You're just smiling tell me, ‘daddy it's yours’
‘Cause you know how I like it you’s a dirty little lover
If the neighbors call the cops, call the sheriff, call the SWAT we don't stop, we keep rocking while they knocking on our door
And you're screaming ‘give it to me baby,
Give it to me motherfucker’

Ohhh look what you’re doing, look what you done
But in this jungle you can't run
‘Cause what I got for you
I promise it’s a killer, you'll be banging on my chest
Bang bang, gorilla

Ooh, yeah

You and me baby, making love like gorillas
You and me baby, making love like gorillas

I bet you never ever felt so good, so good
I got your body trembling like it should, it should
You'll never be the same baby once I'm done with you

Oh, you with me baby, making love like gorillas
You and me baby, we'll be fuckin' like gorillas
You and me baby, making love like gorillas

Trip Anxiety

January 14, 2012



This past week has been very hectic. I have been trying to prepare for my trip to Thailand. Getting our supplies together for the PACU, making sure we have enough medications etc, and packing my own clothes. Also paying the bills before I go, making sure my sister is cared for, getting her meds and leaving emergency numbers. Leaving instructions for the kids and generalized worrying about EVERYTHING!

I usually get trip anxiety before I go away. I start to imagine all sorts of things that could go wrong. Plane, illness, bad weather here, tsunamis there!!! But I've been too busy to worry about that this time. I had to work all weekend. I was initially concerned I wouldn't have time to get my last minute things done but it actually worked out OK. I don't have TIME to worry about anything. Whatever isn't done just won't get done until I get back, or someone else will have to do it. All I can think of is 18 hours on the plane and no one will be able to get to me and I won't be able to obsessively check on things!!! No phone calls, texts or emails. Heaven.

I'm planning to bring my Ipad and will make an attempt at posting blogs. Mainly I will be talking about the kids and trying to post their pictures. Although I notice I don't get as many readers if I don't talk about sex. But I hope you will still read about the incredibly fulfilling experience I will have caring for children who otherwise wouldn't receive this life changing surgery.

Boys Are Stupid Revisited

November 10, 2012



Even General Petraeus couldn't keep it in his pants. Seems like all it takes is a woman leaning across the table saying, "Tell me the story of your life." With maybe a few, "How fascinating" thrown in for good measure. I'll have to remember that. Maybe I should include it in my rules for dating.

Now he can join the ranks of Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Edwards, Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton. And the countless other men who couldn't manage to use their brain instead of their penis.

I don't usually post on the weekend but I couldn't let this go by without a comment. Maybe this can count for Monday.

Teenage Dreams

October 3, 2012




Katy Perry. How old is she, anyway? I love her music. I just heard Teenage Dreams for the first time yesterday. The lyrics are certainly not rocket science.

"Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever.

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't look back,
Don't ever look back"

Certainly this is every mans' dream. Teenage love. The trophy wife. The "hot young babe." Even men my age and older aspire to that. Is it the sex or the status? Will everyone think you are "such a stud?' Does it make you feel like more of a man? I suppose even women my age would like to be squired around by a young sexy guy. I know I would. Although chances of that are happening are not as great as the other way around. There are always women who are wowed by the money or the power of the older man no matter what the age or appearance.

So where does that leave me and the numerous friends I have who are vibrant, sexy and fun? The octogenarians, who would just as soon settle for the young babe themselves? I have always judged a man by the criteria of "Could I wake up next to him in the morning and count on an intelligent conversation?" ( Except for George. He wouldn't have to talk at all.) But truthfully it looks like I don't really have to worry about that. I guess I should plan on waking up to a really good book. Maybe someone will write a song called "Middle Aged Dreams!"

Make Over

September 5, 2012



I already told you how I had the house checked out on our joint credit cards. But I never did over the bedroom. My therapist suggested I might want to do that but my heart wasn't in it.

But one night I saw a movie where the husband came close to cheating on his wife but didn't. What a novel concept. Someone with morals and self restraint! The thought of what went on behind my back sickened me. I went upstairs and ripped down those Country Curtains, rods and all, and gave them to Josh to sell at a flea market. I bought a new bedspread and lamps, new curtains and sheets and new bathroom linens. Something with a more modern flair but still soft and calming. I keep fresh flowers in there now.

Someone suggested I get a new mattress as well. But is that really necessary? I love my Bob-O-Pedic. See, even there, we went with the less expensive version. I wonder if they are sleeping on a TemperPedic. Anyway I'm not sure I will need a new mattress for awhile, if ever. I can't imagine ever actually sleeping with someone again.

The nice thing about growing old with someone is that you are both aging at the same time. The wrinkles and the skin sagging happens to both of you. You "grow into it" together. The thought of being with someone new is both amusing and frightening. By the time I will be able to trust someone enough to sleep with them it will definitely be a lights out situation!

Just an update to my cold string bean and potato salad. After all you DO still have to eat. I made it again this weekend but added mint at the suggestion of my friend Lori and also sprinkled dry vermouth over the warm potatoes. Delicious!

My Top Ten List

July 22, 2012

                          The Top Ten Worst Things About Being Divorced


10. Cleaning the litter box.

9.  Taking out the trash.

8. Driving yourself EVERYWHERE.

7. Looking at everyone's ring finger ( men and women alike) to see if they are married.

6. Checking the divorced box when filling out forms.

5. Saying, "I'm divorced," when someone asks if you are married.

4. No one to get you chicken soup when you are sick.

3. Eating alone.

2. Sleeping alone.

1. No sex.