Rent A Husband

October 28, 2013



I've come to learn there are many aspects to cobbling together a "husband for rent." All the jobs that were divided up when I was married are still here. Just waiting to be accomplished. The bills, the yard work, the car, the plumbing, the cellar, the kitty litter, the garbage.... all the things HE took care of before. All my responsibility now.



Some tasks are easier than others. I can pay the bills on line (whoever would have thought! ) and the kitty litter is no big deal. I drag the garbage and the recyclables down to the curb every week, and when there is a bug anywhere Hilary calls me and I take care of it. I even disposed of the dead mice, although I used a shovel and tried not to look at them as I brought them outside. They were kind of cute and I considered giving them a proper burial but didn't have the time.


But the big things I've had to hire out. Steve takes care of my car and he never said a word when I brought it in a year after it was purchased and confessed that I had never had the oil changed or a tune up. Not because I didn't want to but because it just never occurred to me. Was I supposed to put snow tires on a four wheel drive? I didn't do that either. I watched the sink in Hilary's bathroom leak for weeks but only when the shower handle broke and she couldn't shut off the water did I call Gino. He came that afternoon and the next day with a new faucet that he picked out after I assured him I would love whatever he bought. And I did. Everything fixed now. And Brian. My outdoor person who is slowly becoming my all around handy man husband. He not only does the landscaping but fixed my door, painted the water stain on the ceiling from the leaky shower, and organized the shed outside. I've even let him down into the basement. It's such an embarrassment that it took me weeks to work up the courage to ask him if he could help me straighten it out.


But there are somethings that you can't purchase. At least I can't. I'm sure if I went I Craigslist I could find just about anything I needed. There is still an opening for a "conversation husband" who wants to talk to me just because I AM me. Someone who really "gets" me. Someone who will listen to me talk about my day and the funny stories I have to share. Someone who will look past the sarcastic, jaded comments to see that I am so much more than that. Maybe that "You complete me person" will remain elusive forever. Maybe there is no such thing.

Check Engine Light

December 7, 2012



Wednesday Hilary left for the gym in the morning. A few minutes later she was calling me on the phone. She doesn't just call to tell me she loves me. I answered with, "What's wrong?"

"My check engine light is on." Oh shit! I needed some work on my car also but have been trying not to think about it. Did I mention, I HATE car maintenance. Should I take an Ativan or should I deal with this now? Deal now, I decided. I needed to work the next two days so it wasn't going to get any easier.

I called Steve at Skip's garage. We have been going to him for years and I already had the "divorce" talk with him. So there wouldn't be any awkward moments when he asked "How's Dave?" But still, I just didn't want to deal with it at all.

But I did. He told me to come down and he would look at the car. Thankfully nothing seemed to be wrong. We picked it up and he didn't even charge me. He said he could fix my car next week. ( I seemed to have hit the same bank drive through on two separate occasions!) And I got to have lunch with my daughter at Bread and Chocolate. A cute little cafe in Hamden. Breakfast and lunch only. A perk for for having to deal with an unpleasant task. Not to be a Pollyanna but maybe there is a silver lining in most situations if you can keep your wits about you!

The Outlaws

October 9, 2012



I was having dinner with a friend last week and we were talking about our ex in-laws. Or outlaws as the girls at work referred to them. I realized that none of them had reached out to my daughter in any way.

Steve, who apparently was happy to hear we were getting divorced because I was "the reason the kids weren't close," never bothered to call Hilary and invite her to the "family reunion" held in February. And Debbie, who never censored a word in all the time I knew her, ignored her as well. But Josh got calls from both uncles claiming to want to "get to know" him. Why?

I never expected any of them to contact me and was surprised to hear from Jay at all. But to ignore Hilary is inexcusable. At least to me. Is it too painful to deal with the women who are left behind or are only the men important?

So, Steve, I am out of the picture now. What's the excuse?