June 9, 2014


                                             The Top Ten Things I Miss About Winter

                               





                                                       I'll bet no one ever expected this.
 

10. Sitting by the fire.


9. The first snowfall. All soft, white and sparkling.


8. The  bright red cardinals at my feeder with the fairyland white snowy background.


7. Curling up under a blanket and watching a movie in the afternoon.


6. Using the cold, freezing temperatures as an excuse to stay home.


5. Baking cookies.


4. Cooking hearty, long simmering dishes.


3. Starting cocktail hour at 2PM when you're snowed in.


2.  Reading a book in the middle of the day.


1. Wearing pajamas at 4PM because its dark out already.

My Other Car Is A Broom

June 6, 2014



Let me recommend Safelite Auto Glass if you have any dings or cracks in you car windows. I can personally vouch for them as I have been a customer twice in the past year. I have been driving cars for 40 years and this past year is the first time I needed to have my windshield repaired. Not once but twice. The first time was a small ding. This time it was a long crack ( defined by the experts as longer than a dollar bill.) This has led me to try to explain such a phenomenon.


Beside the windshield issues I have also hit the bank drive through not once but twice. And the second time I was being extremely careful. I didn't hear the sickening crunch until I was almost clear of the area. I then hit the side of the garage with my mirror causing the casing to come apart. The mirror still works but there is a crack in the casing which is unsightly. Why is this happening all of a sudden? Well, okay I have often hit the garage in the past but not to this extent.


There can only be one explanation. The car is cursed! Yes, that's it. I won? acquired? received? the car as part of the divorce settlement. Sort of like compensation for making a mockery of the memories of my life. What can I expect from such a "gift ?" Beside the windshield and the various "accidents" there was also the punctured tire saga. If I didn't know any better I would think that someone put a spell on my vehicle. Well technically it isn't my vehicle yet. I better be extra vigilant when that day comes. But if you hear that I have suddenly lost my brakes...please think of this post.

Match.com

June 2, 2014




Yes,  I'm trying another on line dating service after the disastrous experience with eHarmony. And so far I'm not faring much better. I still remember being told by a former acquaintance that online dating is not for people of a certain age. I'm starting to think he may be right.


I feel like I'm selling a used car. Trying to promote my best features in 50 words or less. Or is it 250 words? But really it would take a lot longer to describe how truly wonderful I really am!!! Maybe I'm indescribable! That must be the problem. I get confused between the winks and the faves and the "likes." I'm not in high school anymore and never liked that stuff even when I was.


Margo, don't read this next part. As soon as I respond to anyone with a few details about myself I never hear back from the potential "date." I really try to honestly describe myself to people who express interest. There's no point in wasting anyones' time. I don't have a lot of time left and I've always liked getting right to the point. So I tell them I am irreverent and sarcastic, but in a good way. My kids will always come first. I'm not looking for someone to "complete" me. I am still a work in progress and hope I always will be. I'm not looking for a soul mate. I thought I had one and look how wrong I was about that. I'm not waiting to be rescued or taken care of. Margo, I know you are reading this even though I warned you not to, and you are shaking your head. And pretty soon you are going to try to call me to"discuss" my attitude.


But let me tell you about the men and what they want. LOTS of them want a woman who is "athletic and toned" or "slender." (Match descriptions)  Some of them can't spell. Many of them don't like to read. They ALL love the outdoors, hiking, kayaking, down hill skiing, etc. Really? Some of them look like they can't get up from their recliners. One guy wrote that he liked 'curvy" (another Match word) women and lingerie. I had to read that several times because I was sure it was a typo. But my favorites are the men who are "currently separated." Can't you even wait until the divorce is final to look for a new mate? That's like claiming you are single even though you are living with your girlfriend.


So after the three month subscription is over I will most likely cancel this. One thing I learned from this whole experience is that I don't have to settle for something that is "far from ideal." And now that George is getting married I may just have to resign myself to a life alone!

Garbage Day

May 28, 2014



Wednesday is the day I put the garbage out. When I was married I NEVER put out the garbage. I was too delicate....couldn't lift the recycle bins or drag those heavy trash cans to the end of the driveway. But guess what? Since my divorce I've managed to put out the trash every single week! Isn't that amazing?!!


But recently Hamden issued new trash bins. One for recycling and one for trash. Huge, monstrous things on wheels. Big enough to dispose of almost anything! And don't think I haven't fantasized about what could go in there. But now I have gone back to dreading putting them out. I have to put one foot on them to tilt them back and then drag them down the driveway. When I get to the end I have to go out into the street to turn them around and position them just so on the lawn. There are rules about where they can be and how they need to face the street. The wheels are making big ruts in my lawn, not to mention the room they take up in the garage. It seems everyone has the same size contraption no matter how many people live in the house. I don't know how the elderly can possibly deal with these things.


I understand the need for recycling and I am grateful that the town has curbside recycling. I am not complaining, really I'm not. But there are only two of us living here. Maybe it would have been too difficult to have a variety of sizes. As it is clearly stated, I do not own the bin, it stays with the house. As if I would take it if I moved! So a very minor thing to deal with, I know. And I will deal with it because I have no choice. But this morning I thought for a fleeting second, maybe the guys who are coming to cut the trees can drag this down for me!

Top Ten Things I've Learned About the Gym

May 22, 2014




10. When I miss some days due to vacation I feel REALLY old.


9. I always feel good about myself when I get there. Especially if I really had to force myself!


8. I actually leave the house wearing my glasses, hair pulled back and NO makeup. Sorry Claire,
    if you are watching me, I know you told me NEVER leave the house without lipstick!


7. I am still a back of the room participant.


6. Spinning is fun! ( Really... who would have thought I would ever make that statement! )


5. It still annoys me to see the skinny lady with the complete color coordinated outfits. Down to the
    water bottles, hair bands, sneakers and bags. And different colors for different days.


4. I can't muster the energy to go to a 5:45AM class. No matter how much I think about it the night
    before.


3. I actually plan my day around the class times.


2. I have my own gym bag. But it doesn't match anything!


1. I still think about what or where I will have dinner, even while exercising.

#BringBack Our Girls

May 19, 2014



Nicholas Kristof, a New York Times op ed columnist, author and Pulitzer Prize winner, recently wrote a column about the missing schoolgirls in Nigeria. He frequently writes about the plight of under privileged women across the globe. And he brought up an interesting question. Why are these fanatical religious groups afraid of educating women?


My own thought strongly relates to my "Boys are Stupid" theory. If women were educated and encouraged to succeed the world would be a much different place. Maybe a better place. But we all know it is much more than that. Women are oppressed throughout the world, especially in third world countries where religious fanaticism is rampant. Forced prostitution, genital mutilation, inadequate health care for high risk pregnancies and lack of birth control are all debilitating problems for women around the world. The lack of clean water is a problem in some countries, especially Africa. Girls have dropped out of school to haul clean water for their families.


So let us keep this in mind when we proceed in our very privileged daily lives. And next time you are wondering where to make a donation there are several at the end of the article I've included.


http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/04/opinion/sunday/kristof-bring-back-our-girls.html?emc=eta1

Reflections on Mother's Day

May 12, 2014



The wedding weekend is over. It was wonderful and I kept my vow to keep the sarcasm in check. But now I want to share a few thoughts on motherhood. And I know I'm going to hear flak about this. But I'm ready.


News flash.... There is a conspiracy surrounding pregnancy and motherhood. Everyone is sooo happy to hear someone is pregnant. "Congratulations!" "Best time of your life!" And my favorite, " I never felt better!" Really?!! I was scared, lonely and my body took on a life of its own. Even though I was a nurse I still couldn't figure out how this huge object was going to emerge without me being in, to put it mildly, extreme distress. And guess what? No amount of breathing techniques, water baths, walking around or hanging upside down made it any better. I knew only my own perseverance would get me through. AND the fact that women have been having babies for centuries and the species has survived. And I did it twice! Without any push gift!


But the real conspiracy surrounds motherhood itself. No one told me how HARD it would be. I'm going home with this baby!! I can't go home. Why can't I live in the hospital and send this kid back to the nursery at night? I don't know how to care for a baby. 24/7. I brought him everywhere with me. Even into the bathroom when I took a shower. I worried about everything. Breastfeeding was a nightmare. It seemed like I took off my shirt more than I wore it. Was he eating enough, too much? Was he sleeping enough. Was I sleeping enough? The days were long and lonely. Going back to work was looming and I didn't know how I was going to leave this baby in day care. And in the end I decided to have Jennie take care of him. Even though I drove from Hamden to East Haven and then to New Haven to work. And then in reverse at night. Ahh, the things we do to survive.


So in closing I want to talk a little about Andrea Yates. Ever since I heard her story so many years ago I felt sorry for her. Her husband Rusty left her at home with five little kids after she had been hospitalized for postpartum psychosis. He had been warned not to leave her alone. When he left for work she drowned her kids in a bathtub. I have always felt for her. She was an honor student in high school and is now in a state hospital in Texas. Rusty has remarried and now has a new family. How nice for him. Hopefully the women who need help and support after childbirth will not have to suffer like Andrea. And if we can recognize that it is HARD to be a new mom more people will come forward and seek help.