Joint Credit Cards

November 13, 2012



It's a very sad day for me today. I just opened the last of the paper towels and laundry detergent that I bought with our joint credit cards. It lasted close to a year. I wish I had started my purchases sooner but for a while I was in no shape to actually do any practical thinking.

I now realize I could have been more thoughtful in my selections at the time. For instance I still have enough kitty litter to last until summer. Suntan lotion galore. ( What was I planning?) Tissues for all the crying. I thought that would eventually stop but I was wrong. At least I don't have to worry about dry eye syndrome. Enough toilet paper to take me into 2013 and body lotion and bath gel to last for a while.

Now I'm wishing that I had bought myself a little bauble or two. I certainly deserved to treat myself. But maybe I wouldn't have been able to wear it without feeling disgust. I continue trying to decide what to wear on my left ring finger but still nothing seems quite right.

So my advice to all those who discover they are being cheated on and especially if you have documented proof that your money is being used to support some tramp, start spending early. I wish I had. I'd still be rolling in paper towels and detergent.

To Do List

July 19, 2012


Early on, when I was really sad, confused and panicked about my future I met my friend Annemarie at Sage for a drink. Yes, talking over drinks has helped me a lot. So has Sage. It is on the water, has good food and drinks, and a parking lot! In the summer you can sit outside on the deck and pretend you are on vacation.

She was one of the first people to come to my rescue. We talked about the emotions you endure going through a divorce. She was divorced many years ago and like I said divorced friends have the real perspective on what you are going through. All of them have said it gets better but not one of them said" you'll meet someone else." Especially after being wounded by the person you spent your life with and trusted more than anyone in the world.

But this was a practical Happy Hour. She had a list for me. Practical advice about the house and finances. Things I never gave a thought to checking. The furnace, the chimney, the vents and the air conditioning. Check the windows. Look at the lawn and decide what needs to be done. Does the house need to be painted or have a new roof? How old are your appliances? I was astounded and overwhelmed at the same time. But I took that list home and did almost everything suggested and more.

 I replaced the broken shades in  my bedroom, got new windows, fixed the handle on the dishwasher and had everything else checked and serviced. After all, I would be alone now and responsible for making sure things worked. If I needed to have work done I would be the one to take the day off and arrange the appointments.

I would never have thought of those things in the state I was in emotionally. But they are done now. I am grateful that I do not have to worry about them. And I'm very glad I did them while I still had use of the joint credit cards.