All Gone

December 27, 2012



I just finished reading "All Gone, A Memoir of My Mothers Dementia with Refreshments" `by Alex Witchel. Ms Witchel is an author and columnist for the New York Times. The book vividly describes her mother's decline from a college professor to someone who did not always recognize her children. And the toll it took on the author. She turns to her mothers cooking to bring her back and shares the recipes for many of her favorite childhood meals.

It captured my feelings when I am in the kitchen cooking old Italian peasant recipes. Calm and secure. Like I did when I was young and thought I would always have my parents and sister to rely on when things got hard. So cooking keeps me from getting panicked or overwhelmed. I think of all the meals Jennie made and remember thinking to myself, "How can she stand doing this day after day?!!" Not to mention the countless dishes to be washed. How boring! But I find myself doing a lot of it myself now. Maybe it kept HER from feeling overwhelmed. Like there was a sense of order to the world. If only I had known then I may not have given her such a hard time about EVERYTHING!!

I recommend this book to anyone who has lost their mother. It is painful but ultimately heartwarming. A real tribute to their close relationship. And to those of you still lucky enough to have your parents this book will make you appreciate them even more.

The End of Your Life Book Club

November 28, 2012



I've been reading The End Of Your Life Book Club. It's a true story written by Will Schwalbe. It is    about his mother's terminal illness. He accompanies her to many of her doctor's appointments and chemotherapy sessions. They both shared a love of books and they decide to read the same ones while she is ill and discuss them. Not your typical book club where people eat, drink and maybe discuss books. This woman clearly loved reading and shared it with her children.

Although she is dying it is not a sad book. It is heartwarming to think of the tremendous love they have for each other. I hope I never have to endure such a book club in my own life but I would like to think that I instilled a love of reading in my own children.

I remember as a kid Jennie would say to me, "You always have your nose in a book." Not as a compliment though. She thought I should be helping around the house more. Unless I was studying. That was sacred. But reading for pleasure was not encouraged. So I studied a lot. Books transported me to places I never thought I would visit. It make me experience things vicariously through the characters. I could be anyone and go anywhere. I loved getting lost in a good story and I still do.

But if I DO need an end of my life club I would like it to be movies. There is nothing better than sitting in that dark theater (if everyone is being quiet!) and pretending to be the leading lady (especially if playing opposite George or Brad or my all time favorite Robert Redford) So I hope my kids keep that in mind. But what I'm really hoping for is a quick and painless "end of my life club."