Mixed Emotions

July 31, 2013



Thirty two years ago the weather was much like today. Sunny, warm and dry. Beautiful. I remember because that was the day I got married. I remember having my hair done with baby's breath and putting on that long sleeve ivory gown. Yes, IVORY. It really pained Jennie that her baby wouldn't pick a white dress. But I fell in love with that dress the minute I saw it.


But today there is no celebration. There is just mixed emotions. Sometimes I feel like "So What" and sometimes I feel like "Breakeven."


                                                                   "So What"  by Pink

Na na na na na na na na na na na na [x2]
I guess I just lost my husband,
I don't know where he went,
So I'm gonna drink my money,
I'm not gonna pay his rent,
I got a brand new attitude and
I'm gonna wear it tonight,
I wanna get in trouble,
I wanna start a fight,
na na na na na na na I wanna start a fight,
na na na na na na na I wanna start a fight.

[Chorus:]
So, so what
I'm still a rock star,
I got my rock moves,
And I don't need you,
And guess what,
I'm having more fun,
And now that we’re done,
I'm gonna show you tonight,
I'm alright,
I'm just fine,
And you're a tool,
So, so what,
I am a rock star,
I got my rock moves,
And I don't want you tonight.


[Chorus]

You weren't there,
You never were,
You want it all,
But that's not fair,
I gave you life,
I gave my all,
You weren't there,
You let me fall.

                                                                   "Breakeven" by The Script

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and honour to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...
No, it don't break
No, it don't break even, no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
(Oh glad you're okay now)
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
(Oh I'm falling, falling)
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)

('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)