Never Again by Kelly Clarkson

April 22, 2013

Well I made it back from Chicago safe and sound. Although we rented a car and were about to drive we actually got a flight at the last minute and arrived home late Friday night. Just in time for me to celebrate a 2 year anniversary of sorts. 

Two years ago I came downstairs at 5AM to leave for work. I found a letter on my computer. A typewritten letter from my then husband. Silly me. I thought it was going to be a love note. Or at the very least a list of things he wanted me to do. When I opened it and read it I was shaking so much I didn't think I would be able to leave the house. He informed me that "we weren't working" and I should go to a lawyer and begin divorce proceedings. That he wouldn't be going to Italy with Hilary and I ( we were talking about taking her for graduation) and that he was changing the locks on our apartment in New York. This after we had spent the weekend looking on line for apartments in the city. Talk about a sucker punch!

Anyway I have traveled from that day to this. From hardly being functional at work ( I remember spending that week mostly in my office staring at the computer screen and trying very hard not to cry) to taking on the office of Treasurer for the state chapter of my nursing organization. Quite a leap for someone who had not paid a bill in thirty years. Running two households AND being treasurer! 

So you see, all of you who are starting on this journey, you will survive. You will be changed by it forever but you will survive. You may even joke about it someday. There is something to be said for being on your own, spending your money on whatever you want and not having your hard earned dollars go to the support of another woman. 

And I'll close with this Kelly Clarkson song. I heard it for the first time this week. The only thing that doesn't apply here is "trophy wife." Thanks David, for telling everyone I was "prettier" than the zoccola.( Jennie's second favorite Italian word for whore.) It does my heart good whenever I think of that.

"Never Again"

I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green
I hope when your in bed with her, you think of me
I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well
Could you tell, by the flames that burned your words

I never read your letter
'Cos I knew what you'd say
Give me that Sunday school answer
Try and make it all OK

[Chorus]
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
And don't say, you simply lost your way
She may believe you but I never will
Never again

If she really knows the truth, she deserves you
A trophy wife, oh how cute
Ignorance is bliss
But when your day comes, and he's through with you
And he'll be through with you
You'll die together but alone

You wrote me in a letter
You couldn't say it right to my face
Give me that Sunday school answer
Repent yourself away

[Chorus]
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
And don't say, you simply lost your way
They may believe you but I never will
Never again

[Bridge]
Never again will I hear you
Never again will I miss you
Never again will I fall to you
Never

Never again will I kiss you
Never again will I want to
Never again will I love you
Never

[Chorus]
Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
And don't say, you simply lost your way
They may believe you but I never will
I never will
I never will

Never again

Thanks to Katie for adding these lyrics.Thanks to haley, Allison,