The House of Mirth

August 4, 2014



Several weeks ago I visited the Edith Wharton House in Lenox MA. It was a perfect day for a road trip. A sunny, clear gorgeous Saturday. I met Margo early and off we went. She even drove! Of course we missed the exit because we were so busy talking but that is part of the fun of a road trip.


The house and its grounds were beautiful. We ate lunch on the terrace overlooking the garden. Then we took a tour of the house. Wharton designed the house herself and it had to be perfectly symmetrical to suit her taste. Could she have been a little OCD? Doors and windows had to match on both ends of the house even if there was no reason for them to be there. But what was really interesting and unknown to me was her prolific writing. Not only novels but books on gardens, travel and home design. My knowledge of her only extended to Ethan Frome which was required reading in high school and the movies I saw based on her novels. I was ashamed of my ignorance but its never too late to learn.


We had a great day that Saturday. After the house tour we had drinks outside at The Red Lion Inn and then a leisurely dinner in town. But through all the nonstop conversation we paused at one of the exhibits to really take in this quote by Wharton about her feelings for Walter Berry. "He found me when my mind and soul were hungry and thirsty, and he fed them until our last hour together." How beautiful.

Boys Are Stupid

July 30, 2014



Just a reminder....in case you forget.



Boys Are Stupid!

My New Old Name

July 22, 2014




I legally changed my name several weeks ago. I thought it went pretty easily. One day I was Graboff the next day Mentone. Ah....but remembering that is not so easy. I was Graboff for more years than I was Mentone. How bizarre. To think I had someone else's name longer than my own. I remember considering not changing my name when I got married. Keeping your own name was a popular thing to do then. Or hyphenating. Believe me, Graboff was not a name I was fond of. In fact I clearly recall when my former brother-in-law Steve told us he wanted to change his last name. Even HE did not like it and he was born with it. But I willingly took it. What would happen when we had kids? I didn't want two different names in the house. It would be too confusing. Hyphenating was too long and I thought ridiculous. I wanted everyone to know we were clearly a family unit.


But now I'm confused. It takes forever to get all the documents changed. All the banks, licenses, social security card, credit cards, utility bills, passport, health insurance and I'm sure some things I haven't even thought of yet. I still sign things with my married name. It takes concentration to sign my new name. It doesn't flow as easily. And even though my kids are adults I feel sad not sharing their last name. I AM happy to have my new old name back. And I know that as with all things it will get easier and easier. But it is bittersweet.

Planned Parenthood

July 7, 2014



This past Saturday I drove by Planned Parenthood on my way to feed my grandkitties. I hadn't even realized where it was in New Haven. On Whitney Avenue between Edwards and Lawrence streets. I would have driven right by it if the protesters were not out there with their ridiculous signs and propaganda. I remember these same people stationed at a spot in Westville when I used to drive my kids to school back in the day.


That scene made me think about the latest ruling from the Supreme Court. Not the Holly Lobby one, but the buffer zone. I was very disappointed with that ruling. As a nurse I have been drilled with HIPPA regulations. What I can and cannot say to protect my patients' privacy. But it seems I can legally stand outside a health care facility and harass women with my personal beliefs about abortion and birth control. And I can get VERY close to them even though these facilities, in the past, have been targets for fanatics who have shot employees and bombed the buildings.


Again, shame on the Supreme Court. I'm thinking the women who use the Planned Parenthood clinic can not afford a private physician. Many of them are there for just routine care or birth control. And I would have to say that no woman has an abortion without serious emotional turmoil. They do not need to be bombarded with psychological torture.


I realize this is America and EVERYONE has a right to express their own opinions. That's what makes me proud to be an American. But....we all deserve the right to safety and privacy. As far as I'm concerned these protesters are  no better than the terrorists who try to instill fear in society. Many of these women have no other recourse than Planned Parenthood and I'm sure some are scared off by these lunatics. The last time I went to Washington I noticed there were barriers around the White House and the Capitol. I would call that a buffer zone. Maybe those should be taken down also.

Boobs

June 27, 2014



I recently saw a quote on Facebook about boobs. "They prove that men can think about two things at once." I'm not sure that's actually true but it's funny. But breasts are so much more than that. Besides the clearly sexual part they are made for comfort and nourishment. Nourishing babies. I'm not into the toddler thing but to each their own. I don't think you have to whip out your breast at a restaurant or other public place to feed you child. I'm sure that can be done in public in a discreet way. I have in fact seen it done that way many times. And comfort...there is nothing like putting your head down on a soft pillowy breast.


Last week I went for my yearly mammogram. You haven't lived until you have been naked from the waist up, your boob being kneaded by the Xray tech and then pressed in a vise with your face smashed against the plexiglass screen. "Take a deep breathe." Really, I haven't been breathing since you clamped me in here! A few years ago I had to have a needle biopsy. I clearly remember the doctor, a male, tell me I shouldn't feel anything. Then he proceeded to use what can only be described as a nail gun to excise some breast tissue. I almost hit the roof. "That hurt?", he said with a hint of disdain. Hell yes, it hurt. Lets try doing that to your scrotum, I thought. Since he was still holding the gun I refrained from saying it out loud but I never forgot it!


Breast cancer...one of my biggest fears. So I faithfully go for my mammograms every year. Yesterday I got my report in the mail. The girls are fine and they are not dense!! Yeah for me. Since most breast lumps are found by a woman's partner I have been trying to remember to do self exams more frequently. So if you see me grabbing my chest, I'm only checking for lumps!

June 16, 2014

                                                                 "Take Me As I Am"

                       

                                                                      Mary J. Blige 

  

[Verse 1:]
She's been down and out
She's been wrote about
She's been talked about, constantly
She's been up and down
She's been pushed around
But they held her down, NYC
She has no regrets
She accepts the past
All these things they
helped make to make she
She's been lost and found
And she's still around
There's a reason for everything

You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
But I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs
Jus so you can feel me.
so you can get the real me

[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

[Verse 2:]
Now she's older now
Yes, she's wiser now
Can't disguise her now
She don't need
No one tellin her
What to do and say
No one tellin her
Who to be
She's on solid ground
She's been lost and found
Now, she answers to G-O-D
And she's confident
This is not the end
Ask me how I know
Cause she is me.

You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
But I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs
Jus so you can feel me.
so you can get the real me

[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

[Bridge: 2x]
So it's all or nothing at all,
All or nothing at all
Don't you know I can only be me.
(I can only be me, yeah)

[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.

Take me as I am.
Take me as I am.
Said it's all or nothing at all
Said it's all or nothing at all

Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all. (This is me)
Just take me as I am, (take me as i am)
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am, (take me as i am)
or have nothing, nothing at all.
Take me as I am.

Thanks to msz. diva for adding these lyrics.Thanks to sscampbell8 for correcting these ly

Top Ten Summer

June 13, 2014




                                          Top Ten Reasons to LOVE Summer


Even though it has been raining in Connecticut for what seems like weeks I am so looking forward to my favorite season.



10. Longer days energize me. I actually go out after work instead of putting on my jammies.


9. Having lunch on the beach.


8. Sleeping with the windows open.


7. Reading on the beach.


6. My birthday. Okay it's not all about me. All the July birthdays, Lauren, Josh and Megan, too.


7. Peaches and tomatoes.


6. Listening to the radio (yes, my little portable radio) on the beach.


5. Hot dog roasts! Always think of Bud when I think cookouts.


4. Happy hour on the beach.


3. My huddle buddies.


2. Walking on the hot sand.


1. THE BEACH.